Coping with "muchness and many-ness" in the quest for sleep

Thursday, July 13, 2017

I've been having insomnia problems again.

I had some real success with the online CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) program SHUTi that I've blogged about, and even though I'm (pretty much) still following it, I'm back to almost three or four nights a week not being able to fall asleep until 4:30 or 5 a.m.

I'm going to a sleep clinic next week, so I'll let you know how that goes.

In the meantime, though, I've been trying to find ways to quiet my mind and ease those racing thoughts that can keep me up.

And one of the things I'm looking at is "muchness and many-ness," a phrase I read years ago in Richard Foster's book The Freedom of Simplicity. I've thought of it often in the years since.

In my case, the "muchness and many-ness" is not so much activities as it is information and sensory overload.

There are some people who thrive on noise and activity, and indeed do their best work when their headphones are on and they're listening to music or to a podcast. I know of people who have a TV in every room and they're all turned on so that wherever they go, they can hear their program.

But this is not me. Too much noise and distraction is crazy-making for me. Please don't ask me to go to Costco with you. Two or three hours at a mall is exhausting. And cable news with all the arguing talking heads? Get me outta here!

This is more my style -- a quiet beach in northern Michigan which we visited last week.
I grew up in a home where classical music was often playing. But I was unable to even expose my children to that or to any other good music (although they all took piano lessons) because I just couldn't have any more noise in a home where there were three children and we were homeschooling and I was busy thinking about many things.

There's plenty of noise going on in my head without adding any more. Thinking, thinking, thinking about something all the time.

{Over the years, I have asked my husband "what are you thinking about?" And he'll answer "nothing." I used to feel hurt that he wasn't sharing with me, until I realized he was telling the truth! Some people really do have times when they are quiet in their minds. Just chillin'. No wonder he sleeps so well.}

So I've had to deal with the fact that I cannot have too much "muchness or many-ness" in my life. Even though I've always led a quieter life, I need to do so especially now. And there are so many more distractions and so much more noise in our world.

All electronics have to be shut off at least three hours before bed. For me, that means no computer time after 8:30 p.m. No movies or books that could be scary, stimulating, or interesting enough that I will want to think them over at bedtime and that will keep me wired up into the early, and late!, morning hours.

It's a frustrating thing as evening is prime time for reading and blogging and researching things on the internet. I feel impatient with myself that I can't handle these things without literally losing sleep.

So, I can knit. Or read gentle books like old favorites by Miss Read or Grace Livingston Hill or Elizabeth Goudge. Or take a bath. Or write in a journal.

 I had a quiet childhood, with a professor for a father, and, later, when she went to work, a librarian for a mother. Books were big. Other than the classical music and very small amounts of TV time for some favorite shows, it was quiet there for reading and handcrafts like embroidery and knitting.

I need to return to those kinds of evenings.

{As an aside, I tremble for the children of today who are handed screens from toddlerhood. Where is the time for long summer afternoons to read and imagine and go outdoors in the fresh air and play? I feel certain it must change the wiring in their brains and be harmful, and science backs this up.}

 It's so easy to get caught up in the latest and greatest, and download apps and spend time on social media. It's fun. But I'm purposefully trying to scale back on those things, for my sleep as well as my sanity.

{Depending on the source you read, it's estimated that Americans check their phones around 80 times per day. One source says that we touch our phones 2,617 times a day. Seriously?! And Instagram is purported to be the worst social media for mental health, being associated with increased depression, anxiety, and sleep issues. (The study was conducted on younger people, but still . . . ) I have to fight the FOMO myself as I know my friends are posting on IG, and I do feel sometimes I'm missing out.}

It's constant, the apps, the social media, the cable news, the steady stream of info (why do we have to watch TV when we're pumping gas or getting our teeth cleaned or eating in a restaurant?!). 

How can we gain any perspective on our world if we are constant receivers of input all the time? How can we possibly have time to sort through it all and make rational, thoughtful conclusions about what's happening?

How can we ever hear that "still, small voice" of God if it's never quiet?

When we were in China, I stopped on a walking trail to observe a Chinese woman patiently working to build up the mud wall along a rice terrace. The scene was such a contrast from the fast-moving, high-energy city of 34 million in Shanghai where we had just been (and where, by the way, everyone is also glued to their iPhones). Her life is hard, and she is poor. But I thought that she may have the better life in some ways than those poor souls rushing through traffic and enclosed in skyscrapers all day long in Shanghai. And I imagine she has time to sit with her family in peace and quiet and that she sleeps very well at night.

{Of course, maybe I'm just being a crank. A teen who was with us on our trip thought Shanghai was the most exciting place in the world!}

All our work these days is mental. That can be more anxiety-inducing than physical labor. Which is a reminder to me that sometimes washing the floor or hanging out laundry or vacuuming the house is more soul-giving and ultimately leads to better sleep than scrolling through Facebook or watching news or researching the latest trends and breakthroughs.

Another thing that causes "muchness" in my life is online shopping. I hardly ever go to a store and love the convenience of comparing items and reading reviews in the comfort of my home. I can literally look at hundreds of dresses (and I have) for a wedding or event. Or spend hours looking for lamps, as I did recently, comparing ones offered on different sites and reading reviews. One site I looked on had over 33,000 floor lamps alone.

{And in my defense, why is it so hard to find a dress that is knee length, covers the upper arms and doesn't reveal cleavage, but is still stylish?!}

The sheer overwhelming number of choices we have is a blessing, but sometimes I think it is a curse. Even deciding on toothpaste can be overwhelming. Whitening? Paste? Gel? Chloride or no? Peppermint? Spearmint? Same goes for yogurt and milk and laundry detergent and . . . 

 I know I'm not the only one dealing with insomnia. Millions of Americans are sleep-deprived or suffer from insomnia, some reports saying one in three. We all need rest.

How do you all cope with insomnia, and with that other problem of "too much?"

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Did you know there's a tea farm in Michigan? Me neither. I thought there was only one in the U.S., but when I looked it up, I see there's lots (of farms, that is; there's actually only one tea plantation, the Charleston Tea Plantation).  I found this Hummingbird Nectar Herbal tea in a little store, and was told it was grown in Michigan. Very spendy, as they say, but how could I resist?


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